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No matter how long you’ve been together, every relationship needs a healthy dose of flirting.
When most people think of flirting, they tend to think of their early days of dating when capturing each other’s attention and affection was of the utmost importance. However, flirting plays just as important a role in long-term relationships as it does before a couple’s attraction grows into love and turns into deep commitment. Without flirting, affectionate touches, and playful teasing, couples risk losing the spark and passion that separates romantic partners from platonic friends.
Here are ten easy ways to bring flirting back to your relationship:
Remember when you used to get ready for a date by buying new lingerie or booking a blow-out at the salon? Get back to those days when you had so much fun seducing him, and allow yourself to experience the confidence boost that comes from looking and feeling your best.
Compliment Him On Something Unexpected
He knows that you find him attractive, but when is the last time you complimented his sexy forearms or marveled at his kisses or the way he holds you? Give him an unexpected compliment and you will boost his mood — and his ego — for the rest of the day.
Grab his hand in the middle of the supermarket, stroke his thigh under the dinner table, or sexily hop on his lap while you are watching television. Touch him every chance you get, and seize all opportunities to be physically close. Let him know, clearly, that you can’t keep your hands off him.
Have a Naughty Fantasy
Sometimes the best way to rev up your sexual energy is to spend more time focusing on sexy thoughts. Allow yourself to have a naughty fantasy or read some erotica to inspire your sexual imagination, and then channel that surge of sexuality into your relationship by flirting with your mate.
Send a Flirty Text
Technology can sometimes serve as a distraction in a relationship, but it can also be used creatively to generate some sexy sparks between you and your partner. Send him a text during the middle of the day that says, “I can’t stop thinking about your …” or text him during the middle of a double date and say, “Let’s get out of here so we can be alone.”
Be More Vocal
Your partner isn’t a mind reader, so when he does something you love inside the bedroom (or outside the bedroom), speak up (in words and groans of delight) to let him know. Positive feedback is one of the best ways to generate more good vibrations. Just acknowledging your pleasure strengthens sexual attraction and intensifies your flirty behavior, and he will take it as a compliment.
Lose Some of the Clothes
If you are in the habit of wearing sweats to bed, it might be time to swap out your usual nightwear for something a little sexier. Rethink your bedroom wardrobe and opt to slip into a teddy or a sexy pair of boyshorts and casually put lotion on your legs while he watches…riveted.
Go Ahead, Flirt With the Waiter
(A little.) While flirting can sometimes cross the line — and cheating is never okay — a little flirtation with other men can go a long way to remind your mate how irresistible you are. Just be super-nice to the waiter or the mailman. It can give you a boost of confidence to see that other men find you sexy, and it will make your partner doubly glad that you are going home with him!
Take the chance to exchange some of your most erotic imaginings with the idea of being open to trying them out. Tell your partner exactly what you want him to do, and then ask him to tell you as well. It will be highly erotic to discuss these hidden fantasies and will lead to you both receiving the touches and strokes you desire.
Be Bold and Make the First Move
Don’t wait for your partner to make the first move. If you want more flirting in your relationship, then you need to take the initiative and start flirting yourself. Your partner will likely respond by matching your playful, sexy mood. And flirting will become more organic and natural in your relationship.
Source: Dr. Laura Berman
A good kiss can make all your nerve endings tingle or may open the door to lasting love. We often use a kiss to gauge the potential for a bed mate, or a life mate.
What’s in a Kiss?
It’s a way of testing the waters, sampling the goods — before you commit.
It all starts with a kiss. Whether long and sensual or short and sweet, a kiss is the ultimate form of sensual expression. If done right, a kiss can light the flames of passion; if done wrong, it can bring a delicious infatuation to a less-than-rousing end. A kiss is the doorway to what comes next.
Many women will tell you that a kiss is the ultimate deal-breaker. A good kiss is both a matter of personal style and what feels right for the moment. But what is it about a smooch that can send you to the stars or smack you right back down to earth?
A kiss puts you in close proximity with a partner’s skin and scent. Skin is the delivery site for pheromones — the undetectable chemicals of attraction that work through our sense of smell. The kiss delivers us to the most primal parts of our minds, which may be why there is so much potential for satisfaction and disappointment.
For many, kissing is one of few sexual acts they’ve engaged in with a wide range of people. Again, since a kiss can make or break an attraction, it is often the case that we end up kissing far more people than we bed. It’s the supreme technique of sampling the goods with little emotional or physical investment.
So just how much experience are most of us getting? A nationwide survey conducted by Close-Up toothpaste got up close and personal with 2,200 men and women to shed some light on our modern kissing habits. It seems that men and women are definitely getting their practice in: The average woman kisses 17.5 men before she settles down and the average man kisses 24 prospects before he locks lips forever. Women report their first kiss at age 14, while men get a bit of a slower start between the ages of 16 and 18.
Speaking of close-up, the French kiss is listed as most men and women’s favorite; however, don’t thank the French for introducing it to us. The term actually entered the English language in 1923, in honor of the très passionate country. I suspect the French kiss was around long before anything — or anyone — French.
The study also considered geographic differences in kissing trends. Evidently the best place to live if you are an active kisser is in the Northwest, where people exchange more kisses per day (5.5) than anywhere else in the country. The Northeasterners are the most confident in their kissing abilities. Wondering about the Midwest? It seems they’re the most honest in relationships. They’re more likely than any other region to confess to a partner after making out with someone else — not to mention that they’re late bloomers. Compared to the rest of the nation, the first kiss of a Midwesterner comes somewhere between 16 and 18 years old, about five years later than the smoochers in Hawaii. So if you want a good kiss-filled vacation, you know where to go — but don’t forget to brush your teeth!
Chemistry is one class you don’t want to fail!
We often hear people talk about “chemistry” or “sparks,” but when it comes down to it, these sensations are hard to define. Sexy means different things to different people. You might be a sucker for blondes, while your friend loves a great pair of legs or freckled skin.
Our sexual interests are unique, varied, and often a compete mystery to us. For instance, have you wondered why it is that you always seem to fall for guys with dark complexions, or why you go for women who wear glasses? It might seem like just a coincidence, but the truth is that our sexual desires run deep, and they are often connected to experiences from our childhood.
The lovemap theory, which was created by psychologist John Money, Ph.D., suggests that our desires are deeply rooted in past experiences. For example, let’s say you grew up next to a young boy who had dark hair and a sweet personality. Years later, you still find yourself seeking out dark haired men with a romantic spirit. Or maybe you had a red-haired teacher who was always caring and thoughtful, and years later, you still might get a positive boost when you see a red-haired woman.
Along with physical lovemaps, we also have behavioral lovemaps. Many of us have a “type,” whether it be bad boys, smart girls, or outgoing class clowns. Whatever your type, your relationship choices are no accident. We tend to act out the relationship patterns we saw as a child in our own homes, whether that was healthy or unhealthy, and many of these subconscious cues factor into chemistry and physical attraction.
All of these mental triggers start chiming the minute you meet someone, as your brain collects the visual clues and relates them back to your memories. As you subconsciously relate these clues back to your lovemaps, you might feel everything from instant attraction to platonic feelings to disinterest. You might not be able to figure out exactly why you feel the way you do, but those strong, instantaneous feelings won’t lie!
And, remember, while it is possible to walk into a room and feel sparks and connection with someone right away, that is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to love. Unless there is something strong and sturdy holding that iceberg in place, then it doesn’t stand a chance when real life sets in and brings with it kids, careers, family stress, aging, illness, and all of the other facts of life.
You can’t possibly create that deep, abiding love with someone in an instant. That’s what makes real love so precious and worthwhile. It doesn’t just strike you out of nowhere or hit you like a ton of bricks. Instead, it changes you and causes you to grow into the best possible version of yourself, teaching you lessons of patience, fidelity, and communication. It might take only a moment for you to know whether you have chemistry with someone, but it takes much longer than that for you to develop real, lasting, life-changing love.
Source: Dr. Laura Berman