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When it comes to food, what’s good for your health may also be good for your sex life!

The mouth is an erogenous zone. Eating is a sensual prelude to what comes next, and a kiss is a passionate sampling of each other’s taste.

The choices we make when hungry nourish the sexual appetite too. Choosing the right food (and drink) primes your body for optimal sexual function in general. Junk food makes the body feel sluggish, while too many simple carbs can deplete your energy. Eating frequent, nutritious meals is the best way to support your libido; it’ll keep your body fit and your mind lively.

Simple Solutions to Rev Up Your Sexual Engines  Three small changes can make a big difference: Choose whole grains instead of refined white-flour bread and crackers, increase your intake of good fats (such as nuts, avocados, olive oil) while reducing bad fats (like butter and fatty meats), and eat smaller quantities of food every three hours. Your tastes will adjust over time, and so will your libido.

However, eating shouldn’t be all about discipline. Food is one of the greatest sensual pleasures we have. Chocolate was recently discovered by Italian researchers to trigger the samebrain chemicals as an orgasm and is now a sexy-food mascot. Taste, like the other senses, stirs our sexual center.

It’s Not Just What You Eat, but How You Eat It  When you eat sensually, enjoying each bite, and appreciating a food’s unique texture and flavor, you transform a daily ritual into seduction at its finest. The mouth is a portal to pleasure. Try having a sensual picnic with your partner instead of your usual date-night fare. Sit on the floor, rather than at the table, and let fingers be your utensils. Foods that are colorful and sensual like strawberries, papayas, and avocados evoke the feminine mystique. Bananas, carrots, and celery evoke his. Be sure to include a variety of textures and flavors for the whole experience: salty and sweet, crunchy and soft.

Eating with your partner is a ritual of connecting and communication and can conclude with great sex after dinner. But there’s no reason to skip dessert. Bring some honey, hotfudge, or whipped cream into the bedroom. I’ll leave it to you to decide where to put it. Just remember that it can serve to guide your partner’s attention to an overlooked area!

There’s More Than One Way You Taste  Let’s face it, you can’t talk about sex without thinking of ways we taste each other as well. When things start sizzling between the sheets, many worry about flavors. You want to be a delicacy yourself and savor your partner in every way, too. But is there a recipe for this sort of deliciousness?

As it turns out, what’s good for general health is also good for sexual health. To be a tasty morsel yourself, you must make the right choices when eating. Lots of water is the main ingredient. It detoxifies and cleanses the body, helping to keep every part in peak condition. Go easy on alcohol, nicotine, and coffee, which can be taste spoilers. And finally, fruits and vegetables lend a sweetness that is anything but sour or bitter. Just stay away from the asparagus!

 

Source: Dr. Laura Berman

Matters of the Mouth Figure Prominently in Sex

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When it comes to sexual desire, people often wrongly assume that all men are ready for action anytime.

 

Not all men are created equal — in the bedroom anyway.

Many people wrongly believe that all men are easily aroused, easily pleased, and of course, easily finished. So much of our media exposure and Hollywood mythology about male sexuality portrays guys as horndogs whose main focus is having sex — and lots of it — and moving on. Male sexual desire is rarely as straightforward and simplistic as the media make it out to be. While it might be true that certain men can become aroused and satisfied quickly, there is much more to male sexual desire than that.

Famed sex researchers Masters and Johnson created a model of the sexual-desire process in the 1960s. According to their research, humans experience sexual desire within these four stages:

 

  1. Excitement phase — in which a person’s desire is peaked, either through stimulation, fantasy, or a combination of the two
  2. Plateau phase — in which desire increases but orgasm is not quite reached
  3. Orgasm
  4. Resolution phase — post-orgasm stage

 

They later discovered another stage that occurs only in men, called the refractory period. It’s the stage after orgasm, a cooling-off period men need before they are able to become erect again — as opposed to women, who are capable of multiple orgasms. However, this is not the only difference between the genders. Researchers now argue that while women can climb up and down the sexual-desire stages (from excitement to plateau to orgasm to excitement again), men have a more linear sexual experience. In other words, once they become aroused, they seek satisfaction immediately.

While it might be true that men and women perceive men’s sexual process this way, the truth is that it is completely possible for a man to slow down his desire and experience a more sensual and fulfilling side of sex. In fact, when dealing with male sexual dysfunction issues such as early ejaculationthe most helpful treatment is for a man to learn how to draw out his sexual response and get in touch with discovering his point of no return. Using a scale from 1 to 4, a man usually will climb from 1 to 2 to 3 to 4, but he could train himself to climb up and down the sexual desire scale from 1 to 2 and back again; this will lengthen his intercourse sessions and make his orgasms that much more intense and pleasurable.

Other people argue that male sexual desire also differs from female sexual desire in that their excitement stage often requires direct and visual stimulation. While a woman might be easily aroused from a racy story or a naughty fantasy, men might require more physical or clear stimulation, such as an X-rated movie or oral pleasure from their partner. Perhaps this is because men are simply used to receiving this stimulation, while women are used to internalizing their desires and utilizing fantasy in the bedroom. Or perhaps men are just hardwired to seek out the attributes they find desirable. Whatever the case, differing sexual-desire models among the sexes can lead to some complications in the bedroom. For instance, while the man can be satisfied with direct stimulation or the sight of his partner in the buff, she might need something more, such as foreplay, romance, or perhaps even a bit of fantasy. Understanding the differences between the male and female sexual experiences can help couples to navigate these issues and create the most satisfying sexual interactions possible.

 

Source: Dr. Laura Berman

Understanding Male Sexual Desire

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Attraction results from the unique information gathered by all our senses.

Did you ever wonder what attracts you to one sort of person over another? What causes that feeling of alluring familiarity with someone you have just met…someone to whom you are inexorably drawn? Why can someone have everything you think you want, yet leave you feeling flat? Dr. John Money, a world famous sexologist from Johns Hopkins University, invented a concept known as “love maps” that helps explain why we feel that certain pull toward someone without knowing why.

But just what is a love map made of? It’s a product of early childhood experiences delivered to us via the five senses, then activated later on by those very same senses. For instance, you walk into a crowded room and someone catches your eye. Or you feel the pangs of attraction when someone is wearing familiar cologne. If the senses are like paint to a canvas, a love map would be the complete landscape. The legend to your love map looks like this:

Sight: Studies show we tend to be attracted to people who look like our parents and even ourselves.

Smell: Pheromones, the smells that fly below the conscious radar, alert us to compatible mates and make us feel lustful, without quite knowing why.

Sound: The words of parents, teachers, and peers we admired (and certainly those we had crushes on) in early school days shape our emotional needs and self-image.

Taste: Food is a powerful metaphor for sex. Our real appetite and our sexual appetite are related in more ways than one. Freudian oral fixations abound.

Touch: We develop a craving for intimacy that is based in part on how we were touched and cuddled as children by our parents.

A love map may be what triggers the right hormones and neurotransmitters for romance. In fact, different circuits in the brain are lit up during lust and love. The picture of a brain in love is far more complex than that of a brain in lust. You don’t just want sex; you want the person because he affects you in a way that is hauntingly familiar.

Love maps may alert us to who’s the best fit, romantically speaking, but it doesn’t mean finding your soul mate makes love easy. Relationships take work! The chemicals at play in the early days of lust and attraction fade over time for every couple, no matter how much their maps coincide. However, you can recapture that feeling of euphoria by injecting some novelty back into your relationship.

Whether it’s a trip to an exotic location, bungee jumping, or ballroom dancing, the idea is to engage in new experiences together. Force yourself to leave behind that sense of predictability about what comes next. Thrill-seeking restores the thrill!

It works inside the bedroom too. Pretending you don’t know each other leaves room for surprise. Pushing yourself to change up a tired sexual routine restores the electricity of each other’s touch.

Love is often described as an experience that sets the body and the mind ablaze: The neurons are firing “we’re interested!” and the hormones are saying “we want to mate!”

The strongest electricity occurs when all five of the senses are activated, and that ushers in the sixth sense of sex: attraction. That’s when your love map really lights up!

 

Source: Dr. Laura Berman

The Chemical Symphony of Attraction