Choose to Be Cherished

Choose to Be Cherished

Everybody wants to know that they are someone worth loving. It’s a universal need to be cherished by another. In fact, it’s even part of traditional wedding vows.

But too often in life I see people who don’t demonstrate that they love anything about their partner. This isn’t okay. There’s much about each of us to be valued and loved. And we should expect that from our partner. We all deserve to be with someone who sees us as worthwhile and expresses that to us.

We all have something worth loving. The challenge is finding the right partner who recognizes this and let’s us know it. Don’t settle for less.

N need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me.  Who sees in me something worth loving

N need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me. Who sees in me something worth loving

Awaken your Mind: Law of Attraction/Law of Vibration

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Law of Vibration – The Key to Understanding the Law of Attraction

April 23, 2013

Of all the universal laws, the law of attraction is both the most fascinating and the most misunderstood. Fascinating, because as humans we naturally want a tool to help create the life of our dreams, and the law of attraction can certainly help us to do that. Misunderstood because, unlike a tool that we can pull out and use now and again but is otherwise inactive, the law of attraction is operating in our lives constantly and independently, whether we are consciously aware of it, or believe in it, or not.

If you’re not creating the kind of life you want though, chances are you are creating by default, allowing the law of attraction to bring you more and more of the same. Unfortunately, we weren’t handed a life manual at birth and, for many of us, our parents were not aware of the law of attraction and so did not teach us. At Attract Like Magic we are dedicated to helping you understand this powerful universal law and how you can begin to use the law of attraction to consciously create the life of your dreams. On the Attract Like Magic site, and in upcoming newsletters and articles, we will explore everything to do with the law of attraction and provide tools that will help you to harness its power.

But in order to really understand the law of attraction, you first need to understand another of the universal laws, the law of vibration.

Law of Vibration

According to the law of vibration everything is made of energy and has a distinct frequency or vibration. With the advent of powerful enough technology, science now agrees. Quantum physicists have shown that, although matter may appear to be solid, when you look at it through a high-powered microscope so that it is broken down into its smallest components: molecules, atoms, neutrons, electrons and quanta (the smallest particles measurable), it is ultimately mostly empty space interspersed with energy.

In other words, at the quantum level, everything is comprised of energy and empty space and what makes you, your home, your car, the chair you’re sitting in, seem solid is the frequency of the vibration of the energy that makes it up.

Not only does your body and all that you consider to be “you” have a distinct and unique vibration (or more correctly a mix of vibrations), but your creations, in the form of thoughts, also have distinct vibrations which affect or blend with your overall vibration.

In turn, your vibrations affect everything around you – your environment, the people and animals around you, the inanimate objects, even the seemingly ‘empty’ space and they, in turn, affect you. That’s why, when you walk into a room where there was an earlier argument, you can sense it. We even use terms like “bad vibes”, “you can feel the tension”, and “you could cut the air in here with a knife” to describe it. In each case what we are referring to is the energy imprint of the earlier occupants.

Similarly, you may have gone to someone’s home, office or business where, as soon as you entered, you felt the “good vibes” that filled the place. That’s because, over time, a place becomes imbued with the energy imprints of the dominant vibrations of the people who live or work there. So a home, for example, can literally become filled with love or tension or anger or sadness or any other emotion, and that home will feel that way to a visitor even if none of the regular occupants are at home at the time. If you’ve ever entered such a place you may even have noticed how you just relaxed and felt good in response to the “good vibes” around you. Of course, the extent to which you take on the vibrations of the people and things around you is up to you – but for most people, this is not a conscious decision.

So, you are giving off vibrations every second of every day. You are also simultaneously receiving and translating the vibrations of everything and everyone around you. If we use the analogy of television, you are both a television transmitter, beaming out your own unique station, and also a television set or receiver, able to tune in to all the stations or frequencies being broadcast around you. Sometimes we refer to these incoming vibrations as intuition or “gut feelings”.

So how do you know what your vibration is at any moment?

Simple – ask yourself how you are feeling.

Your emotions are a quick and handy guide to your vibration in any moment. If you feel loving, you are vibrating at the frequency of love; if you feel angry, you are vibrating at the frequency of anger; if you feel curious, you are vibrating at the frequency of curiosity, and those vibrations are received by everything and everyone around you. You are also, through the law of attraction, bringing to you more experiences that will match this vibration so when you feel angry the law of attraction will bring to you more experiences that will elicit the feeling of anger, you will attract angry people and find yourself in the middle of angry situations.

Have you ever had a day where you felt lousy, but tried to pretend that everything was OK to family, friends or co-workers? It doesn’t work does it? Your friends, family or co-workers know straight away that you are not how you are pretending to be. They may ask if something is wrong, or comment that you don’t seem to be your normal self. They pick up on the incongruence between what you are saying and your vibration. Because we are not used to explaining in terms of vibrations, they may attribute their knowing to something more mundane like tone of voice or body language, but even people without the full use of their senses can detect this type of incongruence.

To sum up, you are sending out vibrations every moment of every day. Those vibrations are a mix of your thoughts and feelings and they affect everything around you. At the same time you are also receiving and translating the vibrations of everything around you (which can, in turn, affect your vibration by how you react to them). Now that we understand vibration, let’s look at how it interacts with the law of attraction.

Law of Attraction

The law of attraction, simply put, means energy attracts like energy. You may also have heard it expressed as “like attracts like’, “that which is like unto itself is drawn” and even “thoughts become things”.

The law of attraction is at work in your life every minute of every day. Your vibrations are constantly being broadcast to, and received, by the universe. This activates the law of attraction which then matches your vibrations and attracts to you similar vibrations in the form of people, things and situations in your life. In other words you are always creating your life through your thoughts and feelings. The conditions in your life, whether they are what you want or not, are always a match to your dominant vibrations.

The law of attraction, like all the universal laws, operates whether you are aware of it or not, or believe it or not. The often-used terms “what you focus on grows”, “careful what you wish for (cause you just might get it)”, “birds of a feather flock together” and “you can’t get enough of what you don’t want” are all examples of ways that we describe the law of attraction in action.

So, the question becomes – if your life is not how you would wish it to be, how do you change it? And the answer most often given by law of attraction and personal development teachers is a simple one – change your thoughts.

Simple – yes, but not easy. Here’s why.

Somewhere between 94 – 98% of all thoughts are subconscious, that is, below or out of conscious awareness which means that only 2 – 6% of your thoughts are ever conscious. So, even if you managed to change all of your conscious thoughts to be positive, that still leaves an awful lot of subconscious thought, at least some of which would be negative, vibrating away in the background without you even being aware of it! If you’re having trouble creating what you want in life, chances are your subconscious mind is at fault.

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Today’s Check-In: How are YOU?

Let’s do a Check In! To each of you out there reading this post: In three words or less, DESCRIBE YOUR CURRENT INNER STATE IN THE COMMENTS.

How ARE You? Please share. Together we create an energy field of support.

Random words encouraged!! =)

Something like this:
Breathing, surrendered, tired

In three words or less, what’s YOUR check in?

~♥♥~ All moods accepted ~♥♥~

Love,

Jennifer
Author of Blue Fingers Brass Knuckles

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Mother’s Day Gift….

Looking for ideas on what to get your Mom for Mother’s Day?  If she loves to read, she would love an inspirational, feel-good, positive, uplifting book.

Get her Blue Fingers Brass Knuckles this Mother’s Day.  She will thank you and you’ll be glad you did.

 

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mom’s out there!

 

Sincerely,

 

Jennifer L. Martin

 

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Live BlogTalkRadio Show today-Law of Attraction in Action

Today at 3:30 PST I will be doing a live BlogTalkRadio Show talking about Law of Attraction in Action and what is the connection to our overall health.

You are able to call in and listen to the show live, ask questions or just click on the link and listen through your computer.

 

I hope you’re able to join us.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/jenniferlmartin/2013/04/11/law-of-attraction-in-action

 

 

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Ask Dr. Berman: How Can I Ask for What I Want In the Bedroom?

When you feel unfulfilled behind closed doors it can be difficult to speak up and tell your partner the truth.

couple discussing their sexual desires

Q: My partner is well-meaning, but he doesn’t know how to please me in the bedroom. How can I tell him what I want without offending him?

A: Many women struggle with asking their partners for what they want in the bedroom. Part of the problem is that women are used to being people-pleasers, even when it comes to sex. They shy away from owning their own pleasure and voicing their own needs, even though this cheats them out of enjoying sexual release and damages their relationships. Believe it or not, most men say their number-one sexual priority is making sure their partner is satisfied. Yep, his biggest turn-on is knowing that he is turning you on, so it’s great that you are stepping up to the plate and looking for ways to help him do that.

First, make sure that you never, ever, fake orgasm. Not only are you cheating yourself out of pleasure and denying your own sexual needs, but you are also being dishonest with your partner. Though your intentions are good, deception and dishonesty have no role in a healthy relationship, especially when it comes to the bedroom. As I mentioned earlier, your partner wants to please you and when you deny him the right to do so, you chip away at the essential bond between the two of you.

Additionally, since your needs are not being met, you will find yourself more tense and irritable with him. Indeed, it is not uncommon for a woman to quietly resent her partner for not fulfilling her, even though she is doing everything in her power to convince him that she is fulfilled. Talk about a vicious cycle! This is why lies (even the “little white ones”) have no place in your relationship.

Skip all that deception and get right to the heart of the issue. Do so tactfully and subtly. For example, if you are watching a movie and you see a sultry sex scene that gets your heart racing, why not lean over to your partner and say, “I’d love to try that position with you tonight.” Or, if you are thumbing through a women’s magazine and see an article on sex tips that catches your eye, clip it out for him to read with a note that says, “Hope you are ready for this later!”

Next, you might try a hands-on approach…literally! When you are in the middle of a hot-and-heavy encounter and he seems to be missing your hot spots, pull back and say “I want to give you a sexy show.” Then, self-stimulate, being very careful to show him just how you like to be touched down there. Or, you might initiate a 69 session in which you tell him to imitate the licks and strokes you use on him. That way, you will both be receiving pleasure and he will be able to follow your lead.

You can also create a “fantasy box,” in which you each write down naughty and sexy fantasies. Slip them in the box and whenever things get humdrum, reach in and grab one of the slips of paper. Act it out to the best of your ability and bring your naughtiest desires to life!

Most importantly, just make sure that you are upfront and honest when trying to communicate your needs. Your partner wants to please you…help him out already!

Dr. Laura Berman

This is a topic that hits home to thousands of people across the nation, I being one of them and I felt compelled to post this article by well known sex therapist/counselor Dr. Laura Berman.

Do you have this problem, and if so what have you done about it?

– Jennifer Martin

Aside

When is the best time to have sex? Most couples tend to think of nighttime, but you might be surprised to learn that there is even a more appropriate time to get busy.

 

 

Does your sex life need a wake-up call? If you and your sweetie are finding that daily stresses are taking their toll, morning sex may be just the answer you’re looking for.

You’re more rested and recharged after a night of sleep, and the two of you have been spending quality time lying next to each other all night long. The groundwork for intimacy has been laid, not to mention that you’re already in the right location. All you need to do is make that first move!

Another perk of sex in the a.m. is the effect of higher testosterone levels — they’re at their peak first thing in the morning. Remember, testosterone is fuel for the libido and improves genital sensation. Morning sex not only feels better, but the resulting endorphin high can put a smile on your face that lasts the rest of the day. So wake up and make a move in the morning!

Flirting in the A.M. and Beyond

Switching up your sexual routine might get you thinking about your partner in a whole new light. Flirting is oft-neglected in long-term relationships yet is a crucial part of staying sexually connected. Awakening your partner with a good-morning kiss is flirtatious, but when you turn that good morning kiss into good morning oral, you have definitely taken things to the next level. Consider other flirting tips:

Let your partner know you want her, such as by sending her a sexy text during the day. Make it as sweet or as naughty as you want, just remember to make your desire for her clear. Nothing is sexier than knowing that your partner wants you. Keep this sexual energy flowing by exchanging perfunctory pecks for deep, sensual kisses, and stay connected physically by touching her more often. Hold hands, make-out in the back of the movie theater, snuggle together on the couch as you watch television, and make time in the morning for some a.m. action.

Treat each other like lovers, not roommates. After years of living together, it’s easy to slip into a habit of wearing old sweatpants, letting your grooming slip, or even forgetting to shut the bathroom door. This can really wreak havoc on your relationship. Not only will you not feel sexy and desirable, but your partner won’t feel that you are sexually interested in him and his sexual self-esteem can suffer as a result. It’s important to treat each other as lovers, and not slip into a platonic roommate routine.

Get ready for date night. Ask your babysitter to come over an hour before you actually have to leave the house. This will give you time to get ready a leisurely pace and relax before the date. Take some time for yourself and maybe even take a hot bath. Get sexy energy flowing by reading a chapter or two of an erotic romance novel while you are in the tub, or just wear that sexy bra and panty set you have been saving for a special occasion.

What are you waiting for? Get your flirt on!


Jumpstart Your Day With Morning Sex

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Slow down and engage in some erotic foreplay.

Foreplay is not only fun and exciting, it also helps to ensure that both you and your partner have an amazing time and are that much closer to reaching orgasm. I always say that if men are like microwaves, then women are like slow-cooking ovens. For most men, all it takes is the mere suggestion of sex and they are ready to go, but women are a little different. Not only do their bodies often take longer to respond, but they also need some time to make the mental switch from “mommy” or “corporate star” to “sex kitten.”

It doesn’t help that women are often multitasking machines, which means that they have a million things running through their heads at any given time during the day or night. Letting go of that to-do list and getting into a sexy frame of mind isn’t as easy as hitting a switch, and that’s where foreplay can help. Here’s how:

  • Begin by making sure that you will have enough time to enjoy foreplay before the main event. Just a mere 10 or 15 minutes can make all the difference. Not all of this foreplay needs to be physical. You can also use this time to unwind, cuddle with each other, have a glass of wine, kiss, or talk. (Dirty talk preferably!) It will be a lot easier for both of you to feel sexual and enjoy the moment if you aren’t still stressed out over work or worrying about the kids. Take a few minutes to put the world on pause, breathe deeply, and reconnect. Think of this as mental foreplay.
  • Men, try running your fingers gently along your partner’s back or in between her thighs. Kiss her along her breasts or neck. Spend time engaging the erogenous zones, and when it’s your turn, simply lie back and enjoy the sensations your partner’s fingers and tongue can create.
  • Don’t feel like you need to be the “giver” or that you are selfish if you enjoy your partner’s advances. Instead of thinking of receiving pleasure as selfish, think of it as a way for your partner to feel connected and intimate with you. Notice how he enjoys making you feel good, and how much more bonded and sensual you feel when pleasure is a two-way street. Think of foreplay as a dance: You each have a role to play and steps to perform, and it shouldn’t be a solo routine for either of you.
  • Foreplay doesn’t have to begin right before sex, or even in the bedroom. If you know that you don’t have time for sex, or if you are somewhere you can’t have sex (the middle of a restaurant, a wedding, etc.), you can tease your partner by giving him just a little taste of what’s to come. Give him a deep kiss when no one is looking, lay your hand on his thigh, or whisper to him what you want to do when you get back to your bedroom.

You don’t want to rush through foreplay; nor do you want to feel like there is a set amount of time you have to fill. If you are attune with each other’s bodies, it should be natural and evident when it is time to move on, and the switch from foreplay to sex should be organic and smooth.

Source: Dr. Laura Berman

Great Foreplay Makes the Wait Worthwhile

Aside

No matter how long you’ve been together, every relationship needs a healthy dose of flirting.

When most people think of flirting, they tend to think of their early days of dating when capturing each other’s attention and affection was of the utmost importance. However, flirting plays just as important a role in long-term relationships as it does before a couple’s attraction grows into love and turns into deep commitment. Without flirting, affectionate touches, and playful teasing, couples risk losing the spark and passion that separates romantic partners from platonic friends.

Here are ten easy ways to bring flirting back to your relationship:

Seduce Him

Remember when you used to get ready for a date by buying new lingerie or booking a blow-out at the salon? Get back to those days when you had so much fun seducing him, and allow yourself to experience the confidence boost that comes from looking and feeling your best.

Compliment Him On Something Unexpected

He knows that you find him attractive, but when is the last time you complimented his sexy forearms or marveled at his kisses or the way he holds you? Give him an unexpected compliment and you will boost his mood — and his ego — for the rest of the day.

Be Hands-On…Literally!

Grab his hand in the middle of the supermarket, stroke his thigh under the dinner table, or sexily hop on his lap while you are watching television. Touch him every chance you get, and seize all opportunities to be physically close. Let him know, clearly, that you can’t keep your hands off him.

Have a Naughty Fantasy

Sometimes the best way to rev up your sexual energy is to spend more time focusing on sexy thoughts. Allow yourself to have a naughty fantasy or read some erotica to inspire your sexual imagination, and then channel that surge of sexuality into your relationship by flirting with your mate.

Send a Flirty Text

Technology can sometimes serve as a distraction in a relationship, but it can also be used creatively to generate some sexy sparks between you and your partner. Send him a text during the middle of the day that says, “I can’t stop thinking about your …” or text him during the middle of a double date and say, “Let’s get out of here so we can be alone.”

Be More Vocal

Your partner isn’t a mind reader, so when he does something you love inside the bedroom (or outside the bedroom), speak up (in words and groans of delight) to let him know. Positive feedback is one of the best ways to generate more good vibrations. Just acknowledging your pleasure strengthens sexual attraction and intensifies your flirty behavior, and he will take it as a compliment.

Lose Some of the Clothes

If you are in the habit of wearing sweats to bed, it might be time to swap out your usual nightwear for something a little sexier. Rethink your bedroom wardrobe and opt to slip into a teddy or a sexy pair of boyshorts and casually put lotion on your legs while he watches…riveted.

Go Ahead, Flirt With the Waiter

(A little.) While flirting can sometimes cross the line — and cheating is never okay — a little flirtation with other men can go a long way to remind your mate how irresistible you are. Just be super-nice to the waiter or the mailman. It can give you a boost of confidence to see that other men find you sexy, and it will make your partner doubly glad that you are going home with him!

Share Fantasies

Take the chance to exchange some of your most erotic  imaginings with the idea of being open to trying them out. Tell your partner exactly what you want him to do, and then ask him to tell you as well. It will be highly erotic to discuss these hidden fantasies and will lead to you both receiving the touches and strokes you desire.

Be Bold and Make the First Move

Don’t wait for your partner to make the first move. If you want more flirting in your relationship, then you need to take the initiative and start flirting yourself. Your partner will likely respond by matching your playful, sexy mood. And flirting will become more organic and natural in your relationship.

 

 

 

Source: Dr. Laura Berman

10 Ways to Flirt With Your Mate

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Erectile difficulties are common with age, but there are ways to safeguard your sexual health.

Sex undergoes a transformation for both men and women as their bodies gets older and hormone levels change. Men might find that it takes longer to gain an erection or that orgasms are not as intense. They might also find that the refractory time — the period of time after orgasm in which it takes a man to achieve an erection again — increases.

In addition, it is not uncommon for a male’s sexual identity to go through some changes with age. Once a driving force in their lives, sex might become less of a priority or simply less frequent because it is not as enjoyable or an erection isn’t easily attainable.

Some men are willing to take this in stride — it’s as if they believe that sex has an expiration date! Fortunately, this is not the case, and there are many ways to help ensure that you enjoy healthy erections and powerful orgasms throughout your life.

Consider the following:

Talk to your doctor. If you are experiencing sexual difficulties such as erectile dysfunction, then it’s important to talk to your doctor. Not only will your doctor be able to offer you invaluable treatment, but erectile dysfunction can also be a sign of other health issues — such as vascular disease. Your sexual health is inherently tied to your physical and emotional health, so it’s important to make sure that your body is functioning at its best across the board.

Change your expectations. If you believe that your sexual experiences are going to suffer due to aging, then you are likely to live up (or down) to those expectations. However, the truth is that there is no reason to suppose that your sexual enjoyment has to end just because you are aging. Certainly, things will slow down a little and you might have to put in a little more effort, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t continue to enjoy your sexuality and connect with your partner in a physical way.

Liberate yourself. As people age, they find that certain sex positions are no longer possible or comfortable. This is particularly true if you suffer from mobility issues or sore joints. Luckily, there are tools out there that can help you to circumvent these problems. Consider the Liberator, sex furniture that offers a variety of different shapes, sizes, and angles to help treat everyone’s unique physical concerns.

Take care of yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself physically, you will feel the effects of this in the bedroom. But if you eat a healthy diet, exercise, effectively manage stress, and get a good night’s sleep every night, you will be more primed for sexual activity. You should also make sure that you are taking your medications correctly and ask your doctor about possible sexual side effects from your current prescriptions. (Blood-pressure medications, chemotherapy drugs, diuretics, antidepressants, and antihistamines are just a few of the prescriptions that have been linked with sexual side effects.)

Stay in tune with your sexual side. Part of the reason that aging is associated with lack of sexual activity is because people lose their partners as they age and find themselves facing singledom for the first time in decades. It’s important not to allow your grief to prevent you from finding love and affection in the future; but until you feel ready to begin dating again, you should consider staying in tune with your sexual needs through self-stimulation. Sex really works on a “use it or lose it” basis; so if you allow your sexuality to fall by the wayside during this time, it will be more difficult to recapture it again in the future.

Remember, there is no reason why you can’t enjoy sex well into your golden years and beyond. There is no such thing as a sexpiration date!

For Guys: Erections and Aging